Bunny Ears

Ok, summer and its clothing has officially become stale. I thought this outfit might make me feel better, but I ended up hating it almost instantly. I think it has less to do with the actual outfit as it does my deep-seated resentment for sweating in everything I wear right now. Does anyone have autumn temperatures currently? If so, I'm moving there.
By the way, just a little heads up: I'm heading (back) to San Fransisco in October and want very badly to spend a lot of money there. That on top of finding little of inspiration in any of the 8000 places that I shop online and otherwise means that I will be looking to get creative with what I've got. I do plan on garage saling a little again this fall (I think that's when you get the best stuff) to add a little creative flair back into my wardrobe, but I won't be making major purchases for a few months.
Also, thank you to my followers. I have now exceeded 90, which is completely astonishing to me. Sorry for being such a bum blogger lately.



Dress: Lane Bryant
Bracelets: Shop in Highlands, Denver and The Limited
Necklace: Made from tags on a dress
Ring: verameat
Bunny Ears Hat: Asos

Moschino Cherries

So, I have been facing a crisis. I can not find clothes that are cool and flowy and all together effortless in larger sizes. While I love me some Faith 21 (my most recent clothing savior), I hate how tight, constricting, and short all of the items are. That's ok sometimes, but most of the summer I want to wear some gauzy, paperthin nothing that still covers my bum, damn it. I've perused Karmaloop, Urban Outfitters, even RVCA in search of said dress, but they always turn up nothing in my size. This is one of my few reprieves from this sticky situation. I was bumming around Express's website when I found this for nine dollars in the sale category. I bought it thinking that it would probably be tight as well, but it's even better than I thought. It's like a tent in there. I am overcome with boundless joy!
And if any of you would like to suggest some places that you have found dresses like this, I would be eternally grateful.







Dress and headband: Express
Necklace and ring: garage sale
Shoes: Moschino
Sunglasses: Shop in Chinatown

Just Thinking

So, I've been thinking about my absence on the blog and I've realized it can be attributed to a rather complex, but general feeling of blah.
I began running about two months ago on a pair of really old shoes. Needless to say, injury occured and I was struggling to walk on my left foot and ankle. I was forced to wear flats for about two weeks straight, icing my foot and ankle in the evening and avoiding exercise. I gained weight. Not a ton, but certainly enough to make me feel unattractive.
Furthermore, the last two times I've gone to get my hair done, my hair has dealt with some serious breakage up near the roots for the very first time. I have all these short hairs at the base of my neck, around my forehead, and on my part.
This has made me feel completely yucky.
I really battled with posting this on the blog, as I am all about the empowerment of women in general and plus sized women in particular.
However, I also think that it is important that we as a fashion blogging community are honest with ourselves-- our whole selves.
I don't know how long this will last (especially since I have been sick since Sunday), but I think that being open about my frustrations will air out some of my issues and allow me to move on and enjoy blogging again.
I will continue to post when I feel up for it and, by the way, I appreciate those of you who are continuing to check my blog.

Dr. Jekyll Paging Mrs. Hyde

So, this outfit is slightly schizophrenic with it's geek-chic and rocker feel.
Today I went on the second annual Birthday Brewery Tour in Boulder. It was kind of an accident, since this year we were planning on heading south for our beer tour (I want you all to know that Colorado has the most microbreweries/brew pubs per capita in the nation). However, Boulder just worked out best (yet again) as a venue. I love Boulder!
Now, I know that many people know about this town from movies, etc. but it is seriously one of my favorite places in Colorado. I have so many zany memories from Pearl Street and the University of Colorado campus, and the hippies just make me smile from ear to ear. Te quiero, Boulder.


Sweater: Secondhand from Saver's
Belt: Hot Topic
Leggings: Faith 21
Shoes: Alice + Olivia for Payless
Jacket: Wet Seal (plus sized collection)
Necklace: Paraphernalia
Earrings: Secondhand from garage sale
Glasses: Ebay
Bracelet: BleachBlack for Urban Outfitters

A. Rivera Photography

These are a few of the photos from yesterday and the previous shoot. She did some amazing things with me and she has all kinds of plans for the future.
The artistic energy between April and I makes the experience really fun. She wants to try everything and I appear to be game for anything.
On a slightly more philosophical note, I've been contemplating the idea of the identies we embrace and the identies we outwardly reject. This pontification manifested out of a writing demonstration I did in the demonstration classroom on Friday. I had to demonstrate revision using questioning with a piece that I wrote. I chose a flash fiction piece for each period (one about my teeth and one about shoes) and then we questioned. Upon reflection, the other teachers in my demonstration classroom mentioned how strong the demo was because it was so organic. This struck me because I tend to reject the idea that I am a writer. It feels so pretentious. However, when the students were asking me questions about my writing and I was thinking about my process and what I would change, I realized that I am a writer, and a good writer at that.
Something similar happened with this second photo shoot with April. I wouldn't say that I took on the identity of a model, but I definitely decided that modeling can be fun and empowering and not a job that only an elite few may participate in.









I'm noticing more and more that this blog is becoming a platform for my multitude of ponderings. Oh well, we'll let the change happen and see where it takes us.

Wicked Cool

My sister ended up asking me to go to Wicked, which was an unexpected event. It's funny; when I was a student, I couldn't afford to buy tickets to musicals and I forgot how much I love them.
The costumes were incredible. I love clothing, as all my readers know, but I always wanted to be a costume designer. The dancers' costumes are the most amazing, because the materials and cuts that they use to emphasize movement gives these outfits such a vibrant effect.
Wicked also surprised me in that it took a children's book with a black-and-white interpretation of good evil and uses the complexity of life to illustrate that nothing is so simple as good versus evil. It addresses very adult issues such as prejudice, isolation, familial strain, and negative self-image.
As you can see, I was completely enamored.







Dress: Go International for Target
Coat: Target
Bag: Antoinette Lee
Shoes: ebay

Heard It's Modern to Be Stupid, You Don't Need a Thought to Look Good

So, I am in a demonstration classroom for the next month, which means that I am out of my classroom and learning how to teach Readers-Writers Workshop better in the context of another classroom. I was so hesitant about it because I would be leaving my classroom and being a first year teacher is nutty enough without leaving for a month. However, the Demonstration classroom teacher is amazing. She is actively healing my and four other teachers' souls.
She talks about how many principals send there "Broken" teachers to her classroom and how most teachers aren't actually broken; they're just bruised-- usually as a consequence of lumbering oaf administrators who abuse teachers with their caustic criticisms. She calls all of us who have been through the residency "her teachers" and she has completely rejuvenated me.
I guess I share this simply because I'm slowly remembering that I actually am a good teacher. The relief at this revelation and the frustration that I will always battle administration in defense of my teaching are almost overwhelming.
Cari is right. All teachers are bruised.




Shoes, Hat, and bracelet: Forever 21
Dress: Simply Vera Wang for Kohl's
Tights: We Love Colours
Cardigan: Kohl's
Necklace: Madame Bijoux

What I Feel Today

I want to stifle the romantic in me so that I never feel this way again. Do you ever think that you are too smart to be so damn stupid?
image via le love

The Skinny on Being Fat (or Something Like Fat)

A commenter on chictopia turned me onto a site called fatshionista. It's a website devoted to plus sized women and the clothes that they wear. While I don't find their actual site excessively user-friendly, I did enjoy that they had a flickr presence. I post almost all of my outfits there and I'm liking what I see from the other ladies. Yesterday, though, when I posted my daytime outfit, I got a comment that read: "You're skinny!"
I was kind of distraught by this comment.
In the spirit of complete transparency, I will admit that I am typically a size 16, sometimes an 18 depending on the clothes and whether or not I want to make it fit.
I'm not skinny enough to have the luxury of most clothes coming in my size, but I'm also acutely aware of the fact that I am not your typical plus sized woman. I don't look the part. This comment made me wildly insecure last night and I couldn't stop the guilt of not being either skinny or fat from creeping in.
I remember a quote from actress Nia Vardalos right when My Big Fat Greek Wedding came out. She said something along the lines of "As an actress, I was too big to be a star and too small to be a plus sized comedienne." That's exactly what I feel.
I am also not your typical plus sized girl in that most women gain weight where they are supposed to (i.e. in their butt, thighs, and breasts). In contrast, the first place that I gain weight is around the stomach and the lovehandles (which is far more typical of men). Evidentally, it has something to do with higher levels of testosterone, which makes sense when I take into account my personality and my low, low voice.
I'm getting long winded here, but I do want to include a small weight bio for everyone, because I think it's important that people know where I'm coming from. My sophomore year of high school, I weighed 135 pounds. I was not slender, but built solidly. I was an athlete. Then, for unknown reasons, I gained about 10 pounds before I moved to Denmark. For the year that I lived in Denmark, I gained another 5-10, but that was to be expected, given that I was trying new foods and all that. Since then, I've fluctuated up and down, but I'm about 50 pounds larger than I was 10years ago.
Sometimes I gain weight when I'm stressed or upset and other times I lose weight when I'm feeling the exact same way. There is very little rhyme or reason. I used to not buy clothes when I felt that I was getting too big and that was just hell. I work out five days a week, I'm in good shape, and my body is healthy. I decided about a year ago (now that my weight has plateaued) that my body is just fine and that the brain was what needed correcting. I'm mostly satisfied with myself (plus, there are lot more significant flaws in my personality to attend to), except that I struggle with categorization of my weight. Am I plus sized? Am I a more traditional size? Who the hell knows, but I'm trying not to let comments like the one on flickr (which was probably sincere and not a knock, eventhough I've made out to be bad) get me all upset. Because it might make me gain weight. I kid, I kid!


images via fatshionista on flickr

Fickle

When it comes to clothing, I teeter on a strange balance of designer clothing, high street mass retailers, vintage and otherwise ebay auctions, and handmade etsy picks. Oh, and of course there is the low of the low in garage saling and secondhand shopping.
I also cycle through these phases. This past spring and early summer, I could not get enough of thrift shops and garage sales. I was monumentally poor then. It makes sense. Then, when I got my management job at the pool this summer, I was making some more money and I also scored some more lucrative tutoring jobs. I became a Target, Ross, and Forever 21 clothes hound. I have not shown ebay the love in a long time, but about two years ago in the fall, I simply could not get enough of it.
I have noticed how tired of grown of the mass retailers after my binge this summer. I still try to stop in and I find the clothing boring and repetitive. Part of it is the economy (according to National Public Radio) and part of it is my overenthusiasm and subsequent overexposure to all things mass produced.
In desperation, I tried ebay, but it just wasn't doing it for me (I did bid on a pair of strappy Christian Louboutin's, but was quickly outbid and unwilling to fork over more cash). Feeling unhopeful and sure that I was about to slump into another anti-shopping haze, I decided to try etsy. I wasn't expecting much. I was mistaken. This is everything that I found and purchased on etsy. I went crazy. What always sucks me in with etsy is that I know that pretty much no one where I live would own what I purchase from there. There is an idealistic entrepreneurial spirit that I love about all of the designers on there.
Anyway, these are the items I purchased.